I have just been going through 1,000 deviations and picked out ones I like to comment on, and came to the decision to delete 9,700 of them, because it would just take up too much time. So I am sorry! I will try to be good from now on though. I promise.

It has been snowing a lot this christmas, and it is so beautiful, i love it. Apart from the icy roads, travel disturbances and cars crashing into the front of my house malarky. I hope my driving lesson tomorrow isn't cancelled either. I love driving.

So, this is the time of year when my mum cooks a lot and makes so many puddings and yummy things to make me a little bit fatter than I already am. I'm looking forward to christmas day, as I haven't really been feeling that christmassy yet and hopefully opening and giving presents and being merry will give me a bit of christmas spirit.

I have been spending time lately with a very lovely guy who treats me like a princess. For a change.

I have 3 weeks off work over christmas. Love it. Not looking forward to going back though. But I am looking forward to my birthday in a few weeks. I am going to London with =dinosaurkiss to see Wicked! I am soo excited. Jealous much?

What are you guys doing over the holidays? and what are you getting for christmas??

I have exactly 10,000 deviations to look at! Thats a lot you guys, slow down a bit!

I keep logging in every now and again to see whats going on but everything gets swallowed up in my ever growing inbox. This is gonna take me some time.

Since my last journal, I started a new job. Working for a school photography company. It's not a bad job, and now I'm starting as a full time editor, before I was assisting as well, but I prefer it this way and i'm a lot more suited to it. Working full time really doesn't leave much time for anything else, its crazy, and my hours are long. I also still work at the pub on a saturday because I like it so much. And I am slowly getting out of debt but christmas is here soon and its bloody expensive!

My boyfriend broke up with me. But I'm ok about that now, just don't know what to do with myself when I'm on my own now.

I took some photos today. But I need a project. I sorta miss uni because I had a focus.

How is everyone else?

And if you've started watching me since I was last here, then I will get around to saying hi sometime soon.. I'm not ignoring you

My premium membership ran out, I didn't realise how crappy every page looked without one, but eh well, it just makes me not want to be here even more. Well, it's not that I don't want to be here, I just don't get motivated enough to come here and show you my photographs anymore.

I'm not saying I'm leaving, it's not like one can ever 'leave' a website is it?, I just can't be bothered with it to be honest. Maybe I will post something one day but I can't see it happening anytime soon, I'm pretty pushed for patience to even write out this journal.

I passed 100,000 pageviews this week, it's taken a long time and I thought I would be excited, I'm not excited at all, it doesn't make me happy to know that people are coming to my page and not even bothering to speak to me. I used to like the interaction on this website, but it seems you have to be here hours a day talking to people to get that kind of spark. I watch over 200 people here, most of which I have spoken to in the past and few that I have become very good friends with, I really appreciate that and always will. I check here everyday and see endless journals with samey titles or constant rants and bickerings that will never ever get resolved, its boring, ya know.

I need to use my time to make some money. I don't have any, and I really want to make a go of my photography, I also want to register for a pgce sometime in the near future so I can share my knowledge with people who want to do this.

Tim has been going on for ages about the crappy state of this industry and while all that time I've wanted to deny it and slap him in the face for being a pessimistic turd, I've realised that he is right. It sucks and it's done a great big smelly shit on all my dreams of wanting to be a ' pro' photographer. Well, I am a pro photographer, I am because I say I am, because I have a piece of paper that tells me I'm fully qualified to be, I am because I've made money from my skill, I am because it's what I do every single day, but its nothing like I ever imagined it to be. I still get off on clicking the shutter and making the image, I always will, but I don't 'need' to live off this passion, I'm giving up fighting for it, because the quiet life makes me smile so much more.

I'm often on facebook if you want to talk to me on there just add me and tell me who you are..

ohh and Nancy if your reading this, I got your postcard luvy! <3 Send me your address and I'll send you one from my collection